After being sick for so long, I finally have a name for my illness: Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, otherwise known as P.O.T.S.

A cardiac condition that's stripped me of my health, weight (causing me to drop to anorexic weight), self confidence, friends, jobs and continuing my education.

My goals are simple: gain weight, be healthier, and get out more. Basically, get my life back!

I'm also hoping to spread some awareness on this little known condition, and to highlight the struggles of the underweight and people with "invisible illnesses."

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Heartsick

It's days like this that make me really wish I could just give up entirely.

I took a shower and I was so tired, so tachycardic, so sick afterward that I just sat on the bed, looked at this body, my body, that won't do what I want it to - that sometimes can't do what I need it to - and cried.
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2 comments:

  1. AnonymousJune 24, 2011 at 6:25 AM

    oh, honey! (((((((((((((((((((((((E))))))))))))))))))))
    I know that feeling when you cry for all your poor little body has been through or for all you spirit wants to live and can' t b/c of it.

    I have to say, though, I'm proud of you for making through your shower anyway. Maybe nobody else "gets" that, but you fought and made it, and while it's not enough by any means, it still does count for something!

    hugs, sweetheart.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ErikaJune 26, 2011 at 12:31 PM

    thank you <3

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