Not giving up just yet.

I told my mom about the lawyer thing when she got home; as I was really upset about it.

She surprised me by having the opposite reaction I had expected her to have.
In my mind, she told me to suck it up, deal with it and forget about it...but she actually reacted in a different way.

She thinks I should get a copy of all of my records to have in my personal possession; then I should contact a lawyer (either this one, or another one) that will allow a free consultation and show them all of my records and see what they say. In her mind, when I officially started to fall ill is debatable as I had a horrible round of the stomach flu around the same time...so the timing might actually be more in my favor than they're giving me credit for.

She also feels someone needs to see the actual proof (my records) of my illness and the timeline, along with hearing more than five minutes worth of my story, before decided whether or not we can proceed with this because a phone consult isn't exactly detailed; nor are there any concrete facts and documentation to be shared and gone over.

In my mind, she's right. I talked to a paralegal for all of five minutes and that's not sufficient time to give the matter the full attention and weight it deserves. She's also right that I should have someone go over my records in person, in detail before they come to any conclusion about deadlines I've missed. (or anything else for that matter...like whether or not they'll represent me.)

She's also wondering what they would say about other things that have gone on in the last three years that I've been trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. (Don't want to go into more detail here, just in case legal action can/will be taken...but if you're curious you can ask.)

So, I've decided to get a copy of my records for myself (I have to call them tomorrow anyways to make sure the jerk cardiologist finally sent them for real this time) and I'm going to hopefully find a lawyer or two who will give me a free consultation to hear me out, and go over everything with me.

If, at that point, they say there's nothing that can be done then I'll have to accept that. I know it's an extremely long shot anyways. But, this is my quality of life that I'm fighting for; and if these people are responsible for doing this to me...for giving me this condition...then I owe it to myself to see this through to the end; whatever that might be.

I may have to give up eventually; but I'm not giving up just yet.