day 11

Breakfast: Tea, Luna Bar (300c)
Lunch: chicken finger, pretzels, cranberry juice with benefiber (320c)- really poor lunch, but i was eating it at 3, and dinner's normally around 6 so i didn't want to screw up dinner too
Dinner: pasta, salami, green olives, italian dressing, pepperjack cheese (500c), cherry coke zero
Snack: Ensure Plus (350c)
Extra:

Exercise: done. i'm really liking the exercise routine i have, its pretty quick and i can do more if i want to, or increase weight if i want to

Total Calorie Count: 1470. miserable fail :( although, after a migraine that's lasted 4 days, i'm okay with it. normally, i can't eat with a migraine but i tried to push through when i could.

Awesome Thing of the Day: sunshine (and 70 degree weather!)- oh, how i've missed you!


i don't know if i'm going to make my calorie count today. i went out for coffee with one of my friends at 11, and i wanted to make sure i wouldn't feel/be sick, so i didn't eat beforehand. which totally threw off my whole day for eating. i need to get better at not worrying about being sick and just eat anyways, but for now i'm still really nervous about it.

day 10

Breakfast: Ensure Plus (350 cal)
Lunch: parfait made with wegmans vanilla super yogurt, strawberries, banana, and honey bunches of oats (~350c)
Extra: Luna Bar (180c)
Dinner: chicken selects, small fry, medium dr. pepper (~700c)- i was so happy my mom brought this home. i wasn't going to make my calorie count today without it, and dr. pepper is the ONLY thing that works to get rid of my migraines...so, thank you mom!
Snack: Ensure Plus (350c)

Exercise: done! got an AWESOME workout in today. feel really good about it too :)

Total Calorie Count: 1930

Awesome Thing of the Day: breezes! there's no better feeling than driving in the car with the wind in your hair, or sitting outside and, instead of sweating to death, you get a nice breeze and gust of fresh air. (i'm talking like 5mph winds here though lol)

i decided to add the last section, because i'm a very negative and cynical person. it might help to think of at least one thing every day that i'm either glad happened, or that i'm grateful for. i'll still by no means be an optimist, but even on the crappiest days there has to be something to enjoy, and to be glad to be alive for.

day 9

Breakfast: Ensure Plus (350 cal)
Lunch: salami sandwich, slice of pepperjack cheese, glass of v8 fusion cranberry/blackberry juice with benefiber. (425 c)
Extra: hershey almond kisses (150c)
Dinner: steak, french fries with "bacon" (400c)
Snack: Ensure Plus (350 c)

Exercise: done

Total Calorie Count: 1675. cutting it close today. i don't feel that great, i think it's the grape juice striking again. well, there went my hope for that lol

*news* i will be going to the cardiologist on june 15th- that's the soonest they could get me in. i'm not looking forward to being tested for a heart condition- but everything really seems to fit, and if that's the case then one pill will make me feel better than i have in years.

just a random annoyance...i don't get why they throw grape juice into every juice they make- i don't want to drink grape juice (often it doesn't agree with me anyway)- i bought cranberry/blackberry juice so keep the apple and grape juice out of it! it's part of the reason i have such a hard time adding fruits and vegetables into my diet (along with IBS). grape juice is bad, and even when you buy non-grape juice it's in there- what the hell!

day 8

Breakfast: Ensure Plus (350 cal)
Lunch: pasta, olives, salami, italian dressing (300c)
Extra: hershey almond kisses (150c)
Dinner: 1 serving chefboyardee ravioli (now with vegetables!) 7 fudgestripe cookies (total, 580c)
Snack: Ensure Plus (350c)

Exercise: sadly no, i had to take one of my dogs to the vet for an eye infection, then school, and having the ravioli really upset my stomach. tomorrow i'll be up nice and early though.

Total Calorie Count: 1730

day 7

Breakfast: Ensure Plus (350 cal)
Lunch: pasta, green olives, salami, and italian dressing,can of gingerale (total, 450c)
Snack: hershey almond kisses (300c)
Extra: small banana, chocolate syrup (125c)
Dinner: wegman's frozen stir fry with snow peas,carrots, grilled chicken,broccoli, bok choy- *new food*- and ginger beer-*new drink.* (500c total)
Snack: Ensure Plus (350c)

Exercise: arms are done, rest day for abs

Total Calorie Count: 2075 :)

one week, complete! by the end of today, i hope to have an appointment with a cardiologist to go for my last test.

*update*...yeah, fail on the cardiologist. it's going to take 2 months to get in there.

day 6

Breakfast: Ensure Plus (350 cal)
Lunch: salami sandwich, pepperjack cheese, ginger ale (~500c)
Snack: hershey nuggets (300c)
Dinner: pasta, italian dressing, green olives, caffeine free diet coke (i wish we had caffeine free regular, but we don't :(...300c )
Snack: Ensure Plus (350c)

Exercise: done! can't wait for the beach. my goal is to work out straight for the next month. weigh-ins will be once a month.

Total Calorie Count: 1800

I know my diet totally sucks- i don't like eating so much crap. i'd have to eat a quart of strawberries to get the calories in one hershey nugget. that's not physically possible for me until my stomach stretches a bit...so for now, it's a crappy-ish diet.

day 5

Breakfast: Ensure Plus (350 cal)
Lunch: none :( time just got away from me
Snack: pepperjack cheese and crackers (160c)
Extra: hersheys with almond nuggets (8 pieces, 420 calories)
Dinner: hamburger with pepperjack cheese, salt potatoes, ginger ale (500c)
Snack: homemade mexican dip, baked corn chips (250c)

Exercise: skipped because of walking the nature trails today- can't burn too many calories

Total Calorie Count: 1680

day 4

Breakfast: Ensure Plus (350c)
Lunch/Dinner: p.f. changs pepper steak with rice bowl- also with peppers, onions and bean sprouts. can of ginger ale, fortune cookies. (all total, about 750 calories maybe. they don't put a calorie count but i tried to add up the different things individually)
Snack: mcdonalds fries- didn't really want them, but i had to eat something to take with motrin. small dr. pepper (500c)
late night snack: Ensure Plus (I totally love these things- 350 c)


Exercise: done! feel like crap today :(

Total Calorie Count: 1950 c

i'm debating whether to try another multivitamin or not. the ensures have TONS of vitamins, and overloading is a waste because it just gets excreted.


“Cowards die many times; brave men die only once.”
- Braveheart, legendary Scot

day 3

Breakfast: Ensure Plus (350 cal)
Lunch: baked potato, sour cream, butter, shredded cheddar cheese, and "bacon" bits (465 cal) and cherry coke zero- no calories so not the greatest choice, but i needed the caffeine to get rid of a killer migraine lol
Snack: hershey eggs (8 pieces, 170 cal)
Extra: fresh strawberries (40 cal), bottle water
Dinner: toast with nutella (600 cals)
Snack: pasta (~100c), ensure plus (350c)

Exercise: done. just arms and abs today. my body's still pretty weighted down and crappy from the barium

Total Calorie Count: 2075 (what a fatty!)

thank god i woke up feeling better this morning. yesterday was just awful! my stomach still felt iffy, but i worked through it.

not the greatest diet day...but sometimes you have to go with eating whatever you have a taste for. i want to get some VFusion so it's another serving of a fruit and a veggie to mix my fiber in. i normally can't have more than a serving per day of each (because of IBS) but i'll give it a shot

radiology day- yippee *rolls eyes*

Breakfast: barium shake, barium covered marshmallows, and barium sandwich crackers...yum. not.
Lunch: rice with spices and lime, french bread. not great, but all i can taste is still the barium, so getting anything done is rough (~400 calories actually, better than i anticipated)
Snack: hershey eggs (8 pieces, 170 calories). wanted to test out how i would do with food. bad idea. still not ready- hopefully dinner will pan out though
Extra: glass of ginger ale (~150 c) desperately trying to chill my stomach out
Dinner: quesadilla and wings from pesci's, glass ginger ale - (~800 c)
Snack: glass gingerale (my stomach is not feeling this barium day) (150 c)

Exercise: done- wanted to get up early and do it before the tests; knowing i would feel too crappy afterward to do it

Total Calorie Count: 1670. just made it for the day. feeling pretty awful though- hopefully tomorrow will be better

this was a pretty bad diet day. i had a barium swallow this morning and it's horribly disgusting and really upset my (and most people's) stomachs

and so it begins...

Breakfast: Ensure Plus (350 cal)
Lunch: pasta, green olives, italian dressing, and cauliflower (~330 calories rounded), bottle of water
Snack: hershey eggs (16 pieces= 340 calories- yikes! good thing i need it)
Extra: Glass of Ginger Ale (150 calories)
Dinner: Homemade french bread mini pizzas with turkey pepperoni and italian cheese blend (~300 calories), another bottle of water
Snack: Ensure Plus (350 cal)

Exercise: Done. A light 10 minute work out to try to increase hunger and help get me ready for the beach this summer! (-80 calories)

Starting Weight: 95 lbs

Total Calorie Count: 1820 calories (give or take)...which balances out to 1740 for the day (I need a minimum of 1650)

the point of this whole thing

Over the last few years, I've lost a ton of weight; 20 lbs to be exact- but when you're only starting at 105lbs that's a lot. I've been going through testing to try and find the cause. So far, we've discovered IBS-which severely limits the foods I can eat- and that I have no motility in my esophagus, which makes swallowing food very difficult.

My goals are:

- Gain 15 lbs by the end of this year. I started at about 90lbs, and am up 5 pounds in just over 3 months which is right on track!

- Start exercising again. While I can't do much until I gain some weight, I would like to have the weight I gain be healthy muscle instead of fat.

- Eat a better diet. This will also come after I gain weight. For now, I have to eat high calorie foods- which often aren't healthy in order to take in enough calories to gain the weight I need.

- Get out more. Being so thin and being sick so often has really kept me home a lot, so somewhere in all of this work, I'd like to get out more!