Today, I was pretty proud of myself. It's freakin' hot out (85+) and muggy, which for me usually means feeling crappy. I've done my best to battle it as well as I can. I loaded up on salty foods, caffeine (I'll be sick tomorrow from my allergy I'm sure), and lots of water. I stayed in the shade all morning/afternoon- up until now, when I'm in the house of course; because it looks like rain and the air is too heavy to breathe. I even managed to give the dogs an impromptu outdoor bath. (They were very good and now they're clean and fluffy and smell wonderful!)
Anyways, I did what I could. I tried hard, and now I'm shaking and exhausted so I decided to take a break. I had an iced coffee and sat down to try and read a book, when my mom and sister came out to chat.First, it was benign stuff. Then the conversation turned to my acne and face picking, that my sister also does when she's stressed. She's had a rough few days so she's been doing it a lot and my mom said "well it's okay because she's stressed."
I said, "why is it okay for her to do it when she's stressed? All you do is yell at me whenever I do it."
She goes, "what do you have to be stressed about? You don't have any stress in your life."
um...what?!?!!?
Oh no, no stress at all. Chronic heart problems and a chronic illness are both fun and enjoyable. Endless doctors (most of whom have never even heard of POTS) and their testing is a joy. Little relief from my constant symptoms is gratifying. No funds and no way to work isn't stressful at all; it's a vacation! Support like this from you is a pleasure!
(sarcasm obviously)
I swear she will never get it. Never. I don't understand how she can be this unsupportive and this obtuse. How can you be so blind to your child's condition and how it affects them? How can you honestly think a POTS patient's life is a stress free pleasure cruise.
Her parting words were: "just suck it up like everyone else does."
Yeah.
Too many wrong things with that scene. I'm angry just thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteWhat's treacherous is that you can't even take a well-deserved break: Mom may come out and say something cruel.
I'm censoring myself here because I'm about to get much too harsh.
Using my imagination (and projecting from my own family experience)... Is every encounter with her an opportunity to voice her disapproval? Time with my mom is like a minefield. You may take the wrong step and a little destructive surprise awaits.
I don't know if it's pure incomprehension, insensitivity, envy or egotism on your mother's part (those would apply to mine), but that's the kind of thing that would earn my mom the cold shoulder for a very, very long time.
We each have our way of putting people back in their place. I hope you find your own way: if mom doesn't understand, it does not mean she gets to bully you.
Grrrr...
3x3