Dear 16-yearold self,

Write a letter to yourself at age 16. What would you tell yourself? What would you make your younger self aware of?

Dear 16-year-old- me,

There's so much to tell you and so little time. I would write you this detailed letter but, from what I remember about being you, the odds of you believing this letter came from your future would be about zero.

So, here are some tidbits I'll share. Believe them or not, they're true and I hope that you'll at least keep them in the back of your mind as you go about your life.

1. Keep enjoying the little things.

Movies with your friends, working a part time job, homework, being in class, interacting with people, marching band. Even now, when I think back on it, the time you're living now was the best time of my life. Yes, there's the high school soul-sucking, gut-wrenching drama of boys and love and competing with other girls...but, from what I remember I (that is to say you) enjoyed it. I (you) enjoyed working in retail, you enjoyed frustrating challenges of homework, you went out with your friends and, for the most part, you were in your element.

My only suggestion would be this: Do more of it. Do more of all of it. Believe it or not, there will come a time where you are barely able to get out of bed. You won't be going to the movies, and your friends will desert you. Yes, even those BFFs you have right now, they won't be there. I'd warn you to not get attached but some pain is worth it. Enjoy them to the fullest now and accepting the pain later is much better than living half-assed. Enjoy it all now. Even running errands. You'll thank me later.

2. Never settle for less than what you deserve.

When it comes to your health, there will be many challenges ahead. Remember this: You're not crazy. It's not in your head. Find someone who will listen to you. Don't be shunted off to the side by your family doctor, or made to feel insane...you're not. There's something there. Find someone else to talk to. They will find it.

If you get to the point where they want you to have a colonoscopy (yeah, I know you're going 'wtf'.) When you get there, tell them no. Don't be bullied. Find Dr. M.S.

On a non health related note: There will be a choice that you have to make when you're 19. I don't think if I could go back in time and walk beside you, I could change your mind. But be prepared that it's coming, it will mean more to you than you think then, and will cause you pain forever. I'd tell you what it is, but knowing where you are at 16, you'd never believe me that it was coming anyways. Planting this seed hopefully will at least allow you to recognize the situation when it arises. All I'll ask of you is that you never settle for less than what you deserve. Demand what you want; don't just get screwed. If he's not willing to give that to you, let him leave. He's leaving either way.

3. Keep this in mind: There will come a time where you are diagnosed with POTS. Yes, it will happen. I don't expect you to believe me now, but keep this in mind. When you are, find Dr. S.B. immediately. Seek legal counsel as well. Immediately. It would have changed where we are now, at 24. (I'd recommend you not getting the vaccine that caused it, but I don't think I could stop that from happening even if I tried. The potential to not get cancer is so major a benefit and there's nothing in the literature you'll get to warn you of potential POTS. It was the right decision at the time, and I can't fix that. Just do as I suggest afterward.)

4. You know how you find it impossible to swallow pills? Find a way to get over it. Practice with M&Ms; swallow them whole. You're going to be swallowing a boatload of pills every day, so get used to it now.

5. Just for kicks, scare the hell out of everyone. Make the following predictions now, and look like a psychic when they come true:

a. You'll be diagnosed with POTS, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome in 2010.
b. Four years from now (when you're 20) you'll be dating the guy who sit next to in English senior year.
c. E's going to cheat and dump BJ in January 2006.
d. Barack Obama will be elected President in 2008. (Yes. The first black President happens in your lifetime. Place bets now; make millions.)
e. You are having an appendectomy on Feb. 4th, 2011.
f. Osama Bin Laden will be killed on May 2, 2011. (Place bets now.)

There are plenty more, but that should be enough to scare the hell out of anyone you tell. I only wish I could see the faces of everyone when they come true!

The reality is that you're going to have a really hard decade ahead of you. I wish I could make it easier for you, but I can't. I honestly don't know if I would because the person I am now (at 24) isn't as outgoing, or vibrant, or healthy and able to live like you are; but I like her and I don't want to rob you of the opportunity to become her. You've been a fighter and have been through a lot in your young life already, and I have no doubt that you will get through this too and you'll be a much better person for it.

One last thing: Thank you. Thank you for every memory you're making right now that helped me get through to 24.

~Erika