Struggling lately.

For a while, I was doing fairly well. I was walking a few times a week, I was running errands pretty frequently and I started a part time job. Yes, I was only working eight-ish hours a week, but those eight hours were a huge step for me. It was still a long way from what I want my life to be like, and hope it will be like someday, but I was definitely starting to feel useful again.

Lately, things just seem to have taken a large step backward. I only worked for four hours this week, and I'm so overrun with symptoms that I can barely stand. I'm constantly exhausted and run down. My vision is wonky, my arrhythmia is back, and I feel like I'm constantly trembling from the exertion of just standing or walking around. Yesterday, I started to see spots again just standing in the shower- something that hasn't happened in quite a while. I don't know if it's the weather fluctuations or something else, but it's upsetting.

Needless to say, I'm very discouraged. I'm so tired of struggling on a day-to-day basis. Some days are better than others, but it's still a constant battle of wills between what I want to do and what my body will allow me to do; sometimes coming to the point of crying from frustration. I'm trying very hard to keep my head up and plow ahead, but some days it just seems impossible.