Christmas is this week (obviously) which means huge family get-togethers and lots of food. Sounds like everyone's dream right? To me, it's a nightmare.
My family, extended and immediate, have grown distant in the last year or so (something that I'm having a hard time coping with) but my aunt has decided to hold a Christmas Eve 'dinner' that everyone's invited to.
First, it's going to be awkward considering how my family has drifted apart. Second, and more importantly, everyone knows I was recently in the hospital and they will be trying to force-feed me the entire time. They'll comment on my weight, and be counting my calories while I sit there. It's extremely stressful and anxiety inducing. Who wants to eat knowing/feeling that everyone around them is keeping track of everything that goes into their mouth?
Plus, it's not just my family. My boyfriend's family has invited me every year to spend the holiday with them. The first year we were together, I did. After being there with them, I don't think I could do it again. They all eat a repulsive (to me) amount of food - we're talking...one slice of every dessert (8 or more) for EVERY person. Plus they drink a lot, which makes me uncomfortable. My boyfriend's mom is a nurse, so it's the same deal. She's (unintentionally probably) counting the calories that I eat and constantly pushing food on me. Which I'm sure is well-intentioned, but makes me extremely uncomfortable and gives me horrible guilt to turn down. So, for the last few years, I've skipped out which I feel terrible about. But I know if I go, I'll be harassed about what I'm eating, and I'll be extremely uncomfortable trying to eat in front of people who eat an inhuman amount. (Plus, it's nauseating to watch someone eat that much food)
I know it's still almost a week away, but I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I'm already feeling the pressure!
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